In 1965, I traveled to the moon with Stanley Kubrick to begin filming 2001: A Space Odyssey. We had disagreed about how the monolith should be represented in the film, and that argument grew more and more heated after we arrived.

IN RETROSPECT, I DON’T BELIEVE OUR IDEAS WERE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, BUT AT THE TIME, WE HAD EACH CONVINCED OURSELVES OF OUR OWN IDEA’S SUPERIORITY.

OUR EXCHANGES BECAME VITRIOLIC. SOME BLAMED THE EXHAUSTIVE PRODUCTION SCHEDULE AND THE DeMANDS OF KUBRICK’S RELATIONSHIP WITH ARTHUR C. CLARKE, BUT HAVING SPENT YEARS THINKING IT OVER IN MY HEAD, THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE AT WORK...PERHAPS THE EARTH HUNG LOW IN THE SKY LIKE A YELLOW SKULL.

DESPITE OUR GROWING RESENTMENT, I WAS APPALLED TO FIND THAT KUBRICK HAD BEGUN CONSTRUCTION ON HIS IDEA IN SECRET: AN ENORMOUS, OBSIDIAN TETRAHEDRON, SIMILAR TO THE MONOLITH DESCRIBED IN CLARKE’S THE SENTINEL. IT WAS CLEAR THAT HE HAD NEVER HAD ANY INTENTION ON DOING ANYTHING ELSE. ONE COURSE OF ACTION REMAINED TO ME NOW: SABOTAGE.

THAT NIGHT, I WENT TO THE WAREHOUSE WHERE THE TETRAHEDRON WAS BEING BUILT AND DAMAGED THE PNEUMATIC WINCH THAT HELD THE RIGGING IN PLACE. WITH ITS WEIGHT NOW UNSUPPORTED, THE TOP-MOST POINT OF THE TETRAHEDRON BUCKLED AND TORE AWAY FROM THE REST OF THE STRUCTURE, IRREVERSIBLY CRIPPLING HIS MONOLITH. 

KUBRICK’S REVENGE WAS SWIFT AND POETIC-HE WOULD DAMAGE ME JUST AS I HAD DAMAGED HIS MONOLITH. WHILE I SLEPT, HE SNUCK INTO MY ROOM AND SLICED OFF MOST OF MY NOSE, THE MOST TETRAHEDRON-SHAPED PART OF ME. I WAS RUSHED BACK TO EARTH, WHERE I WAS FITTED WITH A METAL PROSTHETIC, LEAVING KUBRICK, AND MY ORIGINAL NOSE, ON THE MOON.